Day 9: Copper Mountain

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The Shiver ice bedroom room - creaky spooky haunted condo - worst sandwich maker ever (but still made with love) - blackened catfish fire logs - Aspen bead bear shaking trees – frozen toes – kids in capes, shark, hot dog and unicorn outfits - toilet talk: fuzzy covers, furry covers, furry base covers, broken wood splinter seats and plastic “ seat covers” that circle around the seat to pretend its sanitary (We're looking at you Chicago Midway).

Daily Quotes:

“I’m cold…. well, all your layers are unzipped and your chest is sticking out and its orange like tomato… errr I mean red.”

Ski Lift Talk: “Remind me to call Danielle… which one? Oh yeah, I know way too many… tell me about it, I know way too many Chris’…. They should ban people from naming their kids Chris or Danielle for like 3 years… oh, and Ryan’s too…. I know 23 of them (then realizing we were on the chair with 3 other people)… Hey, your names aren’t Chris and Danielle? or Ryan for the other guy.”

Couple on ski lift: “We have an AirBnB, but we are sharing a room, have an un-private bath, the owner walks around in his underwear and he owns 3 bearded dragons ... wait? what? what’s your address we coming over with steaks tonight – we NEED to see this.”

“This condo is seriously haunted as it’s been creaking and cracking all night.”

“I think I put my underwear on backwards today… the G-strung part is in the back....Me too.”

“What are you doing? I’m typing about my G-string.”

"And we thought we packed a lot (referring to the truck with enough luggage for a year in the cab)."

“Did you know there are highways that planes can land on in an emergency? Uuuuh...in an emergency I think pilots will land on any highway regardless.”

"What are they doing upstairs? The Macarena?" 

"There's a movie called Carpool? "

"Is it snowing yet in your bedroom?"

"Whats the name of that golf cart/batting cage place?" - Kaboom?  La Boom?  Kits and Caboodiles? Omg, Boomers!"

"Isn't that Jon Lovitz?"

"Let's call Rachel"

"I wonder if an apple will burn (in the fire)?" 

"My feet are so swollen. - Go stand in the snow."

"Wait, maybe we dont want to go to Winter Park a day early. The first 3 reviews for Winter Park Main Street were the Police Department, Rudy's Deli and Red Box Movie Kiosk.........wait, are you serious?.....no wait. nevermind I was looking at Winter Park, Florida." 

"Look at that red phone. Its nailed to the wall. You need one of those for your house." 

"Do they make dust curtains for cars??"

"How do you go from a dj to a doctor?"

"Do you smell that? .....I farted!"

Award for the fastest Lift Ticket Gates:

Copper Mountain (sorry Aspen chair 1a)

Animals We Saw:

(According to Jeff) Absolutely none!  I stared out the window this morning for a moose… FAIL- 

(According to Laura) Sharks, Rabbits, Pandas, Lizard,  Polar Bears, Grizzly Bears, Mountain Lions, Aspen Bears, Unicorns, Pirates and Bananas

Woke - about last night story sharing – how much stuff did Chernobyl loose (wallet, coat, a fingerless mitten and some dignity) – skied AJAX - John Henry sighting – chili race to poop - drove to Silverthorne/Copper Mountain – snow storm driving – more steps than the last place.  Said goodbye to our beloved Karl. Couch sleeping. Log fire that doesn't burn.  Black logs.  Ice box. Level 1. Heat box. Level 3. 430am wake up call from Rachelle. 

Daily Quotes:

“This place smells like funky cold medina.”

"These sheets are flannel, but not really."

Morning!! – waiting for Ryan to wake as we don’t know how to use coffee machine – looking up golden gun’s worth - elks club -  missingmittens.com – Amber Alert: Rovey Mittens, 4-inches tall, five fingers, non-white, answers to Kloves , might be hanging out with missing sweater and Kenny’s sock – the Tots – llama sweater – frosty – Clarks- rooftop views - $12 round – cougars – mildude - tugaboo shower - captain cobbler - 24/7 shoe soler  - giant person walking sticks- Kemo Sabe- 18 hours to buy a rabbit hat. Noodles (with an S). St Regis (Jen and Laura). Escobar (Ryan and Jeff).  Chief of police car ride home (Ryan). Getting lost can't find way home, crying on the street corner (Jeff).  Snow Angels. Midnight snowcat ride to the top of Aspen Mountain with Tigran (Jen and Laura)

Daily Quotes:

“What did we buy the eggs for?”

“Has anyone sent me videos yet?” (for the 52nd time)

“Why is there no dessert made of seafood.”

"Are these elk flavored oysters?"

“Wait? What? You wash you ski pants?.... (Guys response at same time) I’ve never.”

“No matter how much you shake… there will always be some tinkle there.”

“Does anyone know how to use the shower yet?”

“Hey we have someone following our #ikonskitrip Instagram... who is maryej52? I think that’s Mary J. Blige"

“It smells like boy in here- gross”

“I smell like mildew.”

“Are these vegan boots edible?”

“Do you sell gluten free vegan rabbit cowboy hats?”

So, if I buy this rabbit cowboy hat and I’m lost in the woods and hungry…can I eat it?

“Day 1 Hat... maybe ... day 3 boots…  day never chaps.”

“I once got dumped by a chick cause I have ugly wrists.”

“Do they have cowboy hat parking.”

“It still smells like burnt rabbit.”

“Wait - did you say medium rare fries?”

"Can I have the elk shrimp lasagna?"

“What beer pairs well with my new cowboy hat?”

New chapstick: “I feel like I just made out with a surfboard.”

“Can we get some black crackers.”

“Do they make corduroy crackers or khaki flavored crackers?”

“Where did skinny minty go?”

“Wait - what if we both have bowls cuts?”  

"I'll give you 50 bucks to take that picture down."

"Where is our trust fund assistant?"

"Fur sure"

"I dont think that guy has ever done a crunch in his life!"

"How late does this place stay open?  They'll stay open for $12 and a $2 tip."

"My tummy hurts. I could poop in my chair."

Animals We Saw:

Two goldens in the back of a truck

Special Shoutout Thanks of the Day:

#ikonskitrip #ikonpass #thetot #aspen #kemosabe #kemosabe1990 #elkslodge #maryjblige

Day 6: Ski Aspen Highlands – Cloud 9

Woke up and Ryan is in front of computer still – Rovey on couch for second night - met “coffee” Ryan for the first time – no food – no poops – Anton wiped out – runaway apple - did we make the Aspen Times - buried G dubs - shark shivers - no ski poles all day cause I skied with (K)Canes - overshooting highlands – new business idea www.exquisitelasagnas.com - saying anything with a ‘k’ Cloud 9 -  table dancing – champagne eye burning – chair dancing – John Henry - Karl - $36,774.75 bill in 2 hours - 156 Veuve sprays – 3 egg salads - golden gun - ski patrol VIP escort - jacuzzi - house party – 4 mystery meat lasagna – dance party – no clue what happened after - ????

Daily Quotes:

 “How do you make coffee?? I don’t know I have wine eyes.” 

“Great Scott!! milk pump is done for the day .”

“Ugh, I have Mullet neck sweat.”

“Karl-phoool-whiiiip”

“I need a cowboy hat… for skiing? Does it come with a chin strap?”

Park in the handicap: “we have canes kanes.”

“What bathroom does a shark go in?”

“Raise your hand if your karl’s kousin?”

“Why is there no seafood dessert?”

“Is there a bathroom for sharks?”

“How many Italian speaking sharks are there in the world”

 “I have scarf bangs”

“Is my tramp stamp is sticking out?”

“11 hour road trip with no brakes (errr breaks).”

“Anything memorable happen last night? (enter shoulder shrug here ___) I don’t remember.”

Best Yard Sale of the Day:

Jefe - no poles 4 seconds into the day at 2mph and his apple and G dubs shark went rolling down the hill. FAIL  

Best Yard Sale that No One Saw:

Rovey on flat lands – thank you Aspen Highlands Ski Patrol for lifting her up and the VIP escort down after Cloud 9.

Animals We Saw:

A white boxer dawg

Special Shoutout Thanks to Cloud 9:

Aspen Highlands, Cloud 9 and Aspen Highlands Ski Patrol for the last two dumb & dumber people on the mountain escort.

#aspen #aspenhighlands #cloud9aspen #ikonskitrip

Fun Fact of the Day:
Could 9 sells the most Veuve in the World and is only open 4 months out of the year. We broke the record that day - Happy Birthday John Praw!!

http://www.champagnegun.com/ 

Day 5: Skiing at Aspen Snowmass

Wake up late (Dear Wine, uuugh)  – looking out window for Karl to hit the buckets at 8:45am sharp – cat scratched iced windows  - Ryan saw an elk and didn’t tell – breast milking in the back seat - 40 minutes of Jenny lava NASA lift off boots NOT fitting her feet – give up – ski shop Oklahoma ski fixer dude puts her boots on – WP – I got my first eye lift with Elmer’s glue - Tim’s flasks – tequila - BEST skiing EVER – WE LOVE ASPEN SNOWMASS - Karl – Karl with a PH – Hops for HH – Meet Noodle – hot tubbin’ - BBQ’s steaks on the slopes – dance party 

Daily Quotes:

Morning food prep: “ok, I made the sandwiches…. all five… whoooooa? what? wait? there is only 4 of us!”

Car Ride Talk: “It’s pumping and dumping!... what? It’s not snowing… no, no… she’s pumping her boobs.”

Dinner Menu: “How do you like your steak? Medium rare… oh, good…because chewing raw meat gives lock jaw.”

Chair lift talk: “Beef bed tips up.”

Ownership talk: “I have my own domain name, bitch!”

Lunch on the Gondola: “Laura!! Finish your sandwich… you’re a slow eater! Ugh, it would take 85 gondola trips for you to finish it!”

After Skiing Activities: “Hey, who wants to go get some clothes at Karl Kalvin Klines?”

(at this point during the day we started using the letter ‘K’ infront of every word due to our neighbor Carl/Karl…don’t ask.. it was just hilarious)

Booming down a ski run: “Lord, you’re in the Karlpool.”

Riding the same chairlift 4 times in a row: “God damn…. we’ve ridden’ this chair like 4 times straight it feels like déjà vu…what’s that movie again with Bill Murray when he keeps repeating himself.” Ground Hog Day

Best Named Run of the Day:

Turkey Trot

Animals We Saw:

Dog sledding dogs that almost ran into us…. And, some tarbosaurus dinosaurs.

Special Shoutout Thanks to Aspen Snowmass for the most amazing ski day we have ever had. 

#aspensnowmass #ski #ikonskitrip

Clogged noses equal a bit of snoring – sleep talking and moaning in sleep - woke – ‘someone’ ate an egg bite without heating them up (belly aches) – Ski In & Ski Out walk to chair 1a – Skied Aspen Mountain all day - beautiful blue bird skies in the morning – every run is at least a black diamond - cut off by a little hot dog – whiteout – dumping snow – table creeper - Giuseppe slept in his chair all day – hot pooling – running barefoot in snow – figured out how to work the shower  - Jenny please put on your boots (47x) - dinner at the White House – the Ultimate Taxi -  

Daily Quotes:

While finishing the last run of the day: “Remind me to not wear my ski boots while I drive, dad might get mad. Lol”

Deep thought: “Hey, do you think snow plowers start at airports and then are promoted to the streets and then the ski hills?”

Our Waiter: “Hey your name is Lois, Louise... Louis... Lou....ahhh Lawson?

“The guy who did the brass work here also did Paris Hilton’s.”

“Wait? What? There are ski onesies here?”

“Hey, what else did we have tonight? Creamed Corn! (Ugh, not for dinner... blog worthy material).”

Best Named Run(s) of the Day:

We have a tie between: Dipsy Doodle & Kleenex Corner 

Animals We Saw:

Ski patrol dog

PS: what do you call a bunch of moose?  Meese?

Day 3: 

Today we had the longest road trip of the trip at 11 hours. 5am wake up call  - photo shoot – Utah state line – our first selfie stick – gave the shark a name G-dubs/Guisseppee- crappy gas station coffee – clean bathrooms – 3 plungers per toilet – the gas station Bomb Burrito and Grandito Burrito - largest ant hills – small fences – school of meth – dinosaur tracks – Def Leppard Shark Bites remix video - car karaoke – Colorado state line – sulpher with a PH - heat wave song - almost ran out of gas with 4 miles to spare – Joey Lawrence whoooooa song – Aspen blood moon

Daily Quotes:

Driving: “Shrimp ramp”

Driving: “I’m going to pepper in the word ‘rad’ a lot during this trip… do we have a “rad” counting counter App?”

Driving: “Why are these billboards on the ground?”

Driving with 5 trucks ahead of us: “Is this a truck convention...truck truck truck truck  - goose!!”

Driving by Tuba City: “is this where the Tuba was made?”

After pit stop: “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I went to the bathroom and had to go #2. I had my first altitootes of the trip.”

Asking a gas station cashier: “How far is the Utah state border? Which direction are you heading?”

Driving thru small town: “Do you think there’s more people living here in this community or dead (as we pass a cemetery)?

Driving wanting to stop to take a picture of us in a boat: “Be on the lookout for the next boat because we need a picture.”

Driving Hotel Sign: “What’s that name of that city on your way to Mammoth with endless possibilities? Ummm, I dunno... Anatacia? Arauca? I don’t know - some stripper name.”

Driving while eating too fast: “What is food throttling - prove it.”

Driving Noticing Giant Houses: “You know how some houses have dog doors, I wonder if some have a horse door?”

Name of Hotel: “Anasazi? Is that an Indian Porn name?”

Random Driving Thought: “What’s your top 5 favorite harmonica songs?”

Complaining about Bad City Hall Decisions: “Who’s they?...The committee”

Random Comment About Cow Springs Sign: “What do you think the population of Cow Springs is? 122 people? No, no…. not humans... cows?”

Lots of Meth Billboards on our trip: “Meth school – recessMETH”

Driving and noticing the speed limit sign says 80 which is the fastest we’ve ever seen: “Hey man - it’s Colorado... weed and speed!”

Billy Joel Radio on XMRadio: Billy Joel backup singer tryouts for World Tour…. enter Joey Lawrence whooooooa.  

Eating food in car: “I’m over these Bugels I need some proper food…. Why don’t you just stuff meat in the Bugels.”

Driving Quote: “Man, that was really cool seeing that deer…. Which deer? The alive or dead one?”

Driving looking for food: “Hey, there’s a McStiff’s Pizza place…. No, no that says McStiff’s Plaza….. oh (with shoulder shrug).”  

Best Bathroom of the Day:

Moab Visitor Center

Worst Song of the Day:

Corey Hart: The Boy in the Box

This song was so awful it was so good. We highly recommend it.

Driving Highlights:

Real live horses at stoplight eating grass in front of a Taco Bell.

While driving thru a small town in Utah this deer came hopping down the street right at us.

Tuba City Warriors

Animals we saw:

A deer, a dead deer, horses and cows.

Woke and worked. We then headed over to Pinnacle Peak for a midday hike. While there we encountered a falconer who brought a falcon and a couple of dope owls to show off. The rest of the day included a Costco run and packing the truck. BBQ’d up some amazing steaks for dinner with the family. Hilarious stories, toilet paper mishaps and some lassoing soon followed.  

Daily Quotes:

 “Do you think there will ever be a day someone recognizes us on the street from this website?”

“Have you ever dated a slow walker?”

“You should have to post your personal walking MPH on Tinder so you don’t match with a slow walker.”

“Do you think our calves will look like that after the trip.”

“Are ducks telepathic?”

"Do you know how long you have to clap before your hands get itchy?"

Daily Highlights:

-  Pinnacle Peak Hike

-  The Hugging cactus

-  Meth head cashier 

- Toilet paper bell